Let’s get this out of the way: Santa isn’t real. There. I said it. If you didn’t know, I’m sorry, but not really. Someone had to tell you.

Now, here’s why I’m writing this: the team thinks it’s funny to make me run a 12 Days of Christmas thing. Me. The guy who f*cking hates Christmas - especially the carols; they should be illegal.

Starting December 6 10:00am AEST, you’ll get a new deal every day for 12 days.

The grand prize they’re hyping?

The Grand Prize Giveaway:

• A Hercules Bag stuffed with goodies.
• $500 Woolworths voucher (to buy food or something useful).
• $500 JB-HI-FI voucher (blow it on gadgets—I don’t care).

Every order gets 1x entries. Winner announced December 17, 2pm AEST on Live Instagram and Tiktok. I’ll be there, probably in a Santa hat. Let’s not talk about it. Mark your calendar. Or don’t. Whatever.

- Paul